Wake-Up Calls and New Year Promises
- Patricia Chaffee
- Jan 23
- 5 min read
Happy New Year, dear friends. I imagine that folks who stop by here are likely to be some version of friends, family, writers, weavers, creative spirits and soul seekers, introverts, and empaths. I often wonder if we all gathered in one place, what an extraordinary gathering it would be. Thank you for being with me on this journey. I celebrate your presence.
I started our holiday season by putting my Christmas tree up before Thanksgiving. It was a statement. A commitment to embrace the season in all its glorious fullness, extending it just a bit. Those tiny white twinkle lights were magnified this year with the discovery that shiny silver tinsel from my childhood Christmases could still be found. That tinsel magnified the twinkle lights. What a thrill. (I thrill easily). I held on to this thrill and that memory well into January.
This holiday season was unique, as my holidays go, when my lovely brother-in-law, John Harrington, passed away on December 12th after a battle with Dementia and other associated issues. He came here directly from Ireland once upon a time, and he was proud of his heritage. He married my sister Camille, and he loved my brownies, which I made for him often.
Christmas arrived, and to celebrate Jesus birthday, my niece Heather and her husband Tobey had a precious new baby named Willow. Now, Willow, Jesus, and my partner Jim all have the same birthday. Welcome Willow!
And then my sister Charlene, Willow’s grandma, had no sooner reached out to meet the tiny hand of our new baby, when she took her last breath, peacefully passing away in her sleep on January 2. Charlene had dementia, and I visited her every Friday for years. It was our special time together that began with making art and evolved into “adventures.” I would pick her up, and we went to play miniature golf, paint pottery, and visit the aquarium. We went to parks, visited lighthouses and took boat cruises. She loved the ocean, and liked to name things, like the seabird we watched while sitting across from Misquamicut Beach one day. She called him Guido. My favorite thing was when I took her kite flying on the beach in Charlestown, Rhode Island, and she told me she had never flown a kite before. She flew my kite with such joy and named it Jefferson.
Over time, she couldn’t walk on her own or talk, and our time together changed to become little “picnics” in my car as we sat together looking at the water. She loved iced coffee/cream only, no matter the season. We communicated with a small tablet, which was surprisingly effective as she could point to the response she wanted to give. Eventually, she struggled to eat or drink, so our picnics ended, but our time together continued as we sat by the ocean in silence, breathing in the salt air, listening to the waves at Stonington Point, and her favorite Weekapaug lookout in RI.
Her devoted husband Bob, of 50 years, was committed to keeping her at home, the ultimate gift. One December Friday, I arrived to pick her up, and she was in bed. A week later, she was gone… on to her new life.
My holiday season was definitely not quite as expected, but I thank God that I have my faith to get me through it. Somewhere in the middle of this, I discovered weaving and have found that process to be like a meditation, filled with divine inspiration. Like my writing, I suppose. Each piece of thread, yarn, or what have you, is chosen with great intention. I made one for Charlene, who had a gift for knitting. I had shown her my first couple of attempts at wall hangings. She never got to see the one I made for her. But I think she would have loved it. She said, “I love you” in sign language.
And when I thought I’d had just about enough…I received a post on Facebook from a writer friend’s husband announcing that she’d had a stroke and passed away from complications. I met Linda Collins Thomas at Grace Farrell’s writing group at the Carolina Fiber and Fiction Center, where my early Synchronicity work began. Linda was always a bright light and a beautiful spirit who was kind and supportive. She had attended one of my Creating a Writing Life retreats and eventually wrote her own Memoir, titled Magical Moments, not too long ago. We were not particularly close, but I was shocked by this news, to say the least.
There is something about life and the beautiful people in it that makes us feel like they will be there forever. Until they’re not. Nothing prepares us for loss. Nothing. Not surpise loss, and not even an expected loss. Loss is loss. And there is always the thought of what was intended. The things we wanted to say or do, that now…we can’t.
So it is a call (rather than a cliché) to live life fully. Every single solitary moment. Make it count because who knows how many more moments you’ll have, or they will have. I don’t say that from a sad place but from a hopeful one. To celebrate life in all its fullness. There is so much to celebrate beyond the sadness. And I think maybe the memories and sadness of loss somehow weaves itself into our celebration of life, becoming part of it.
When I first learned that Linda had published her book, I added it to my lengthy and never-ending “to-do” list to buy a copy and write a review on Amazon. But I never got to it. Writers (and readers) need to support each other. Publishing is not an easy place to navigate, and support is so important, like the encouragement Linda gave her friends and family. I’m sorry I didn’t prioritize that. I’ve ordered her book now, and when it arrives, I’ll write a genuine review. It doesn’t have to be brilliant. Just thoughtful and honest. I know she’ll see it, but I wish I’d supported and honored her work with a review while she was here. I’ll try to do better with the other reviews I’ve yet to write. It’s a simple thing to do, but means the world to authors.
The twinkle lights are stored away for now, but the memories and love of friends and family who are no longer with us remain, bringing sparkle and brilliance to every new day to come.
My daughter0in-law Liz Desorbo offers personal one-on-one nail services in the shoreline area. She's awesome! Give her a call.
