Blog post 10/31/23
When I found myself nudged toward something I’ll call “semi-retirement,” I wondered what that might look like. To be honest, it wasn’t a place I expected to be any time soon…or ever for that matter.
Over the years I’ve encountered many beautiful spirits who retired, sometimes by choice and other times by manipulative coercion or even force. I had empathy for their situation especially when it wasn’t their choice. They would lament over the loss of what had become so much a part of their life as work/career /purpose often does.
Although I could be a compassionate listener, I didn’t REALLY understand. I mean who wouldn’t want to get a check from Social Security each month for the rest of their life for doing nothing? Shape their life any way they want it to be, spend time with friends, and grandchildren (this one’s not as easy as it sounds), and more importantly, come to know themselves more deeply, and what’s important to them… We’d have time for all that right?
Well, it turns out, I was all wrong. Except about being a compassionate listener. Turns out most of us just need to be heard. Knowing someone can listen can make a world of difference to anyone challenged by this thing we call life. And who isn’t? It’s the human condition.
Not until I “retired” however you define that, did I understand what those friends were truly experiencing. For many, it becomes an existential crisis. Yikes! What now? Who are we without the work we devoted our life to? In many cases, it was our life.
This journey has a mind of its own at times, doesn’t it? So we find ourselves at a crossroads. And while my big questions were lurking about, like what do I want to do, somehow my calendar became strangely full. I discovered I wasn’t just sitting here twiddling my thumbs. And that the Social Security Administration was not as generous as I’d imagined, and despite having some expanding health challenges I needed to find a part-time job.
Through a process of elimination this senior, hearing-impaired, writer and introvert decided to do something that made no sense at all. What else is new… As I grimaced with each report of war-torn places and wounded people that seemed to saturate the news and cover the globe, I found myself needing to turn away. To find something positive that I know is here, somewhere, if I look hard enough. Or get still long enough to remind myself that my God has not gone anywhere. And that light is forever more powerful than darkness. I hang on to this hope…this belief.
All I really wanted was to hunker down like I did in 2020 when Covid came calling and not leave the house. That sounded like a pretty good plan. But I had to find some work. So what did I do? I decided to try driving for Uber. My youngest son pleaded with me. “Mom, you are not going to like strangers getting in your back seat! Don’t do this! You’re making a mistake.” He knows me well. And I didn’t know how I would feel about strangers getting in my back seat but it made sense that I might find that a problem. I was once referred to as a “profound introvert,” if that clarifies it a bit. I decided to give it a try.
As I went through the seamless process of getting approved, my beloved KIA Soul, experienced a not-so-seamless series of major meltdowns that went on for months. And as if it knew what I was about to do, it too retired. And given that one does need a car to Uber, I was blessed with a family member’s Volvo. I now cruise along with more buttons on a control panel than I can identify, and leather seats, which I’ve been promised will warm my tush in the winter, and possibly yours too if you take a ride in my Uber.
The real bonus here was the gift I received in welcoming complete strangers into my backseat (and sometimes my front seat). I discovered, kind, thoughtful, generous (Yes, tip your Uber driver), and curious people. Sometimes they appreciate silence as I do, and sometimes we have chatty conversations about visiting Mystic, Essex, or Niantic. Of course, Uberville is full of great material for a writer. That discovery was an added bonus.
I have to say, that despite the violence and indescribable horrors going on in our world, this experience has in some strange way, restored my faith in humanity, which has been significantly challenged over the past couple of years and even more so now. But a couple of days a week, I get behind my steering wheel. I place my iPhone into its holder, open the Uber app, and sign on to see where my next trip might take me, where I’ll pick up someone new who just might need a listening ear. A button is posted up front that reads, “Please be patient, I’m hard of hearing.” They will either choose silence or speak up. I’m okay either way.
Until next time…
What has restored your faith in humanity?
May God’s peace and light surround you in all you do.
Blessings on your journey,
Patty
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